On Saturday my mother's clan celebrated my grandmother's 85th birthday in Baltimore (at left, you can see her at about age 2).  Naturally, we ate crabcakes and chocolate, and we all sang my ridiculous re-write of "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof.  My grandmother is still beautiful at 85, despite having recently finished chemo treatments for lymphoma.  I can only hope that I look half that good at her age.  But at least she has passed on to me her love of books, along with chocolate-lust and good taste in men.  Too bad I didn't also inherit her slender figure, but we can't have everything in life!

I told the story of "Grandmother Spider" (found in Choctaw, Cherokee and Kiowa traditions) in her honor on Saturday night, and it inspired my grandfather to tell a story!!  His telling was so priceless, I just have to pass it on.  Not that I can do him justice, but here goes:

***WARNING*** The following story is rated PG-13***

"Once upon a time all the dogs of the world had a conference.  At the doors of the conference room, there were many pegs on which people could hang their coats.  The dogs didn't have coats, so they hung their @ssholes on the pegs, and then went in.  While they were having their conference, there was a fire.  In the panic and confusion, all the dogs ran out of the conference room and grabbed whatever @sshole they could find.  And that's why, to this day, whenever dogs meet each other, they sniff each others' @ssholes, trying to find their original one."

Watching my grandfather tell a story - and tell it, moreover, with joy and enthusiasm - was a truly moving experience for me, so much so that I could almost forgive him for his inappropriate choice of language in front of my daughter.  At 88, he's earned the right to do or say almost anything.  I just hope his great granddaughter doesn't pick this one for Sharing Time at school someday...........

 

"Guess what my great grampa told me!"